Wednesday, April 30, 2014

12 Thangs

12 things I learned while running and vacationing in Florida, at Disney World, in late April.

1. It's pretty much hot and muggy down here all the time. Even in the middle of the night. If I lived in Florida, I would not be a runner. I'd be a diver.

2. For the most part, there are two choices for running surfaces. Concrete (filled with cars) and thick, wet, grass.

3. If you're lucky, you can find an area of well-manicured grass. As long as you don't mind dodging hail the size of ...well ...golf balls.

4. If you're not lucky, the thick, wet grass will also contain snakes.

5. The best place to run, if you like trails, is directly below the monorail. Flat, smooth and well draining. Just make sure to stop when the monorail crosses a Lagoon.

6. People in Florida don't seem to mind guys with beer bellies and wearing stretched out (and stained) wife-beater t-shirts.

7. They do however, mind sweaty, shirtless, delirious but fit guys wandering around their hotel lobby muttering "I need electrolytes".

8. Be prepared for the "normal" tourists to look at you (while you are running outside) like you have two heads. Also, smiling doesn't help.

9. Even if you are really, really, thirsty, don't drink the pale yellow Gatorade from the Pepsi bottle that you find on the side of the road.

10. Palm fronds make for poor toilet paper.

11. Thunder / Lightning storms are excellent motivators for running quickly.


12. Walt Disney lied. It's NOT a small world, after all. Disney is freaking massive!

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